How to chat with a girl on Facebook

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Pau Monfort
@paumonfort

Wondering how to ask a girl out on Facebook? Here are some tips for starting a conversation with a girl on Facebook and making a date.

Thanks to the internet, you no longer have to physically approach someone you are interested in and ask them out. Now, free dating apps can help you connect with potential friends and chat with them electronically.

But what if a girl gets your attention on Facebook? How to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook and get to know her, without scaring her?



Let's discuss some important tips on how to approach a girl on Facebook and increase your chances of dating.

Make sure your Facebook profile isn't weird

Years ago, most people were ready to accept any Facebook friend request that came their way. Now, thanks to regular Facebook scams and spammers, power users won't add people they don't know.

So, before you even send a girl a friend request or start chatting, take a look at your Facebook profile. Make sure you are using a sharp photo of yourself and not an animated character or a random image of nature. If you have a middle name, change it so it doesn't sound weird. Make sure your school and workplace are accurate so it can identify you.

He'll likely take a look at your profile before deciding whether to accept your friend request, so make sure he represents you well.

Consider your approach for the first message

Once you've cleaned up your profile, your next step is to consider what your relationship is with this girl. The best way to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook depends on how well you know her.



  • If she's a new girl you've never met before and are unattached to: good luck. You might as well send her a friend request and hope for the best. If you send her a message, she will likely end up in her filtered inbox, where she will never see it. You don't have many options other than sending her a request.
  • If you are not his Facebook friend but have mutual friends: Are there any photos or anything else interesting on Facebook that involves you? Maybe you both went to a festival with mutual friends and there is a photo in which both of you have been tagged. Commenting on something general about the event on that photo will at least let her know that you exist. Try doing something like this before sending her a friend request, so she gets an idea of ​​who you are.
  • If you are already his friend on Facebook: consider asking her out with another method other than Facebook. If you're too nervous to do this, text her to let her know you're headed to an event this weekend and you'd like her to come with you. Don't turn it into a "date" and don't put pressure on the situation. Ideally, you should get a few friends together to go, so it's a bunch of friends going out rather than a real "date".

Almost every situation will fall into one of these three scenarios. To ask a girl out on Facebook, you need to have some kind of friendly connection with her so that she can see your messages. If you haven't sent her a friend request yet, it all depends on whether she accepts it or not.


How to chat with a girl on Facebook

Let's say the girl you're falling in love with decides to add you as a friend on Facebook. You can now contact her via Messenger. Assuming she doesn't know you very well, your initial message should introduce you and assure her that you're not a spammer or a weird one.


If you have mutual friends, start by mentioning who you both know. This lets her know who you are because you have a mutual friend and she quickly discusses something you both are interested in. It's a simple and effective first message, even for a girl you barely know.

Since you are now friends on Facebook, take a few minutes to review her profile and see what she is interested in. Check the various tabs under About her page to see what she went to school for and what her current job is. Some people add their favorite quotes, media, or random details about themselves in the Details section on [Name], but this isn't too common.

Check out her recent photos to see what she's been up to lately. Anything you can learn about her that gives you something interesting to talk about is key.

How to send a message to a girl on Facebook you don't know

If you're looking to ask a girl you don't know out on a date, try something like this as your first message:

“Hi I'm Alberto. We haven't met, but your profile appeared as a recommended friend in my Facebook feed and you caught my attention. I saw that your profile picture shows you in Venice, is that the first time you've been there? I visited it with my family last year and it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. "


There's no guarantee that something like this will work, but to be honest it's as good a strategy as any. If he responds, continue with a natural conversation. Don't be weird - talk to her like a human being.

How to invite a girl on Facebook (appropriately)

After chatting a bit on Facebook, you should stop and evaluate the interactions so far before proceeding. When you've sent her a message, does she respond in a timely manner? Is there a back and forth conversation or do you tend to get one-word responses like "Yes" and "OK"? Has she expressed interest in you or does it seem like she's just putting up with you?


Consider these questions carefully. If you've both enjoyed talking and it seems like she's willing to meet, go for it. But if she doesn't seem interested when you have a pleasant conversation, chances are she isn't interested in a date.

At this point, if you still don't want to ask her for a date, try asking her for her phone number. This way, you can communicate via SMS or a messaging app like WhatsApp. Using this, you can try to talk more often throughout the day instead of just using Facebook.

If you feel an interest after chatting a bit on another platform, you can try asking her out via a phone call instead of via Facebook. It should have better results and is more personal.

The big moment: asking her out

If you want to give up on all of that and ask a girl out (or toast a girl, as some say) on Facebook now, ask the question with gusto. People know that others on the internet aren't always who they seem, so you don't want to do anything weird.

For example, you certainly don't want to ask her to go somewhere remote with you alone. You can suggest spending time in a group similar to the one above, or try something like this pretty safe request:

“Angela, I've really enjoyed chatting with you these past few weeks and I'd love to take you out. How about meeting up for coffee this Saturday afternoon? "

Note two important aspects of this: meeting in a public place and giving a specific time for a date.

It is also important to avoid generalizations when it comes to the details of the date. Don't leave it open to "go out sometime". Instead, mention a specific date and time frame so that I can give you a straight answer. Make it clear that this is a date and that you are interested in being more than friends.

Her response after asking her out

  • He deletes you as a friend and / or blocks you . If your request bothers her so much that she decides to remove you as a friend, you need to let it go and move on. Don't complain about her to your mutual friends or try to conjure a scenario to talk to her again.
  • She does not answer . If this is the case, wait a few days; don't obsessively search for an answer. After a while, check Messenger to make sure he's seen your message and he's not on vacation or something. If she saw it but she didn't reply, you can reply once: "Hey Angela, I just wanted to check to make sure you saw my message above!" A lack of response to this means that she is not interested. Do not try to contact her again; leave her alone.
  • She says no. Don't argue or ask why. You can say something along the lines of "No problem, I just thought I'd see if you were interested!" Then it's up to you to decide whether to continue chatting with her as friends or not. If you try to keep talking and she seems distant, it's probably best to stop.
  • It gives you a vague answer or excuse . Sometimes, in order to "let you down easily", girls won't give you a straight "no" when you ask them out. Instead, they will provide an excuse and leave you wondering if you should delve further into the matter.
  • She accepts . If he says he'd be happy to go, that's great! Confirm the details with her. You should also ask for her phone number so you can contact her if something happens on the day of your appointment.

How to talk to girls on Facebook: some no-no

We've looked at the steps and potential pitfalls of asking a girl out on Facebook. Finally, let's discuss some methods you should avoid. Trying to get a girl's attention with these will make you look like an idiot, make her feel uncomfortable, and won't end well at all:

Don't send boring and generic messages. Don't send your first message to the girl you're interested in "Hey". She not only is she boring and she doesn't tell her anything about you. Be unique - it's worth more than an introduction that came to your mind in two seconds.

  • DO NOT ask a girl to go out on public transport . Aside from Messenger, pretty much everything you do on Facebook is visible to others. Never, ever try to flirt with a girl or ask her out via a status update, posting to her diary, leaving a comment on her photo, etc. She is ridiculously childish, it will embarrass her and people will wonder what the hell are you doing. Asking via Facebook is already easier than in person, so don't be a coward.
  • Don't be creepy . This is quite self-explanatory. Don't comment on dozens of her photos in a row. Send messages sparingly. And never make vulgar or sexual comments. They are not funny and make you look like a teenager.
  • Don't act like your life depends on it . Be casual about the experience. You're just talking to one person, and there will be a lot more opportunities to hang out with people if they're not interested.
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